sean

Character from original work of fiction ("Wanderlove").

gil

Character from original work of fiction ("Wanderlove").

robin

Character from original work of fiction ("Wanderlove"). 

riley

So I'm working on a short adventure novel, exploring the meaning of life, what it is to be human, what it means to dream, and what its like to take drugs. And yes, my main characters are (sadly) the cliche teengagers on a camping trip. 

I've provided my rough draft first chapter if you care to read it. Its basically just an introduction of the main characters, the setting, and the first problem that they run into together. If you care to check it out, keep reading. Please keep in mind this is in rough draft form and unfinished. (Most of my other chapters are already done, but I always have trouble with the opening bit. Too much pressure to get audience attention!) Reviews and comments will be MOST welcome. 

Working title is "Wonderlove". 

Riley had no intention of getting lost. And yet despite all of her attempts to remain on course, the fact was she stood at the edge of a river not even marked on the map.

            “What do you mean it’s not there?” Gil demanded over and over again. “A river is a pretty substantial landmark to overlook.” He threw his hands up, glasses glinting in frustration.

            Robin peered over Riley’s shoulder, pointing at the thin brown line that marked the meandering trail, ending at a lake. “If we just went straight north like I said, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

            “Like you even know where north is, anyway,” Riley muttered.

            Robin crinkled her nose and pointed in the direction in which they had just come from. “That way,” she said stoutly.

            “Ladies, ladies,” said Sean, putting his hands up. “It doesn’t matter if we’re lost. What matters is that we are in a beautiful place for a hell of a picnic.” He grinned triumphantly. When they all rolled his eyes at him, he shrugged. “What can I say? I’m hungry.”

           

Riley sighed, jamming the map into her pocket. After some careful consideration, she conceded to stopping for a rest, much to Gil’s annoyance. He shot her a dark look over the top of his glasses, as he swung his backpack and gear off his shoulders. It was full of water and plant samples and sloshed as he set it on the ground. When they all began to spread out a blanket to sit on, pulling out various snacks, Riley alone remained standing. The notebooks in her pack were beginning to weigh on her shoulders and it was good to be free of the burden for a little while. She stretched out of her arms, and watched the light refracting off the surface of the water wavering in bright scroll-work on the boughs overhead.

            “Mom was right about you,” said Robin, with a wry twist of her mouth. “Lost in thought without a compass to get out. If only your own head wasn’t uncharted territory…”

            Sean threw his head back and laughed. “Best extra credit camping trip ever.”

            “Extra credit for you, lower classman,” Gil grumbled, tearing open a bag of trail mix. “Some of us have careers to think about.”

            “Psh,” said Sean, as Riley came to sit down beside him. “Careers are for old people  – ah!“  He stopped with Robin slugged him on the shoulder.

            “What was that about?” Riley laughed, as Sean made a dour face.

            “He was about to insult you. I am the only one that gets to do that,” Robin said triumphantly.

            “How gentlemanly of you,” Riley sighed. She ate little, still staring at the river, contemplative. At length, ignoring Sean’s jabs, she left everything behind, and walked down the bank to get a closer look at the water without a word. The late sun rippled across the surface in a strange pattern, catching every glint of light and sparkling. She stood, studying it, thinking back to her art history class, and impressionist painters. Something about the light was strange, and she wanted to artistically capture it.

            “It’s too clean,” said Gil, coming up behind her, making her jump.

            “I was thinking the same thing,” she lied, folding her arms. “It’s not from the lake, that’s for sure. Perhaps it flows from the mountains. Or a spring.”

            Gil bent, scooping a small sample into an empty phial. He stuck a litmus strip in it, watching the tiny lines of color change. “It’s like rain water,” he said, shaking the glass, and holding it up the light. “Crystal clear.”

            “Drinkable?” Riley asked, frowning.

            “Unlikely,” he said. “But I could run some more tests and find out. The fact that we found such a source could be pretty important.”

            “You think this is undiscovered?” Riley asked, skeptical. “I mean, think of all the other research assistants who have done projects here. Any bio-student in a fifty mile radius has been here at some time or another for school.”

            He shrugged. “They could have purposefully kept this from us to see how well we did our work. All I know is that this is here, and it could help me write my paper. That’s all I need. We don’t need to be explorers.”

            They returned to get their equipment, then lay on their stomachs near the damp earth that ran along the banks and jotted notes. After a while, however, Riley took to doodling the lily-pads and rushes instead. Even Gil gave up, and lay on his back, staring up at the sky in a rare moment of peaceful content.

When a burst of laughter broke through the clearing, they sat up to look behind them, where Robin and Sean sat much higher up on the bank. Sean’s head was in Robin’s lap, and they were sharing a bottle of wine.

            “So much for keeping a close eye on that sister of yours,” Gil murmured.

            “She can take care of herself,” Riley shrugged.

            “Where did they get the wine?” Gil asked with narrowed eyes.

            Riley dropped her head into her notebook. “Sean is such a sneaky bastard.”

By the time they returned to their picnic spot, the violet shadows had grown long and laced over the riverbanks, shimmering as the trees swayed in a passing breeze.

“Did you gather all of the data?” Sean asked sleepily.  

“Yes. All of it,” said Gil wryly. “Every single piece.”

“I suppose we should head back to camp,” Robin said reluctantly, patting Sean’s tousled black hair as though he were a dog. “What time is it?”

            Riley pulled the cell phone from her pocket. “Almost eight,” she said.

            “The sun is going down!” Robin said, nearly shouting, as though just noticing. She shoved Sean away from her and began frantically pack all of her food away. Sean sighed and curled back up on his blanket.  “If we thought we were going to have a hard time finding our way back to our camp in the daylight, it’s going to be no dojo in the dark,” Robin growled.

            “We could just camp here,” Sean said lazily, without opening his eyes.

            “With what? We don’t have a tent or any supplies. Our professors would report us missing,” Gil argued, carefully bottling his specimens. “Get off your ass, and let’s re-trace our steps back. We know which direction we came from, and it was only a thirty minute walk to begin with.”

            “As long as Riley doesn’t lead us this time,” Robin called over her shoulder.

            Riley made a face at her, but did not argue.

            Within minutes, they had put everything away, and were scrambling back through the woods. Now, the uneven forest floor was rapidly falling into deep shadow, and they often stumbled over tree roots, or rocks. Riley’s ears strained for any sounds other than their own. But the forest seemed to be engulfed in silence. Not even a bird chirped or a branch rustled. A chill began to fall as the last of the light slipped away, and Riley shivered. She could not tell if her skin was covered in dew or sweat.

            “I hear something,” Gil whispered at long last. The moment they all stood still, the whole world seemed to drop into complete blackness. Sean pulled a flashlight out of his backpack to light the way. Shadows leapt about as he shined his beam over the forest foliage; he followed on Gil’s heels, as he slowly led them onwards. Finally, they all heard it too.

            The sound of water.

            All at once, they staggered into a clearing, with a river.

            “How did we come in a complete circle?” Robin quietly despaired.

            Riley rapidly pulled the cell phone out of her pocket. She tried making a call to a professor back at camp, but the call dropped. She tried again and again, much to no avail.

            “So,” said Sean. “I guess we’re camping here after all.”

            “No,” Riley and Gil said adamantly at the same time.

“The sun just set,” Robin argued. “I know it’s dark but we have our flashlights and can make it back. If we give up now, there will be people looking for us. So come on.”

“But… but we could have a night-time picnic,” Sean said with a grin. Robin shot him a look, and he quieted, though his grin widened.

Gil sighed, and took his glasses off to wipe them on his shirt. “Shall we try again?” he asked, before turning to lead them back into the woods.

           

            Once more, surrounded by darkness, they scrambled on. Everyone had their flashlights out, except for Riley, who had left hers back at camp. Instead, she used the screen from her phone to light the ground in front of her feet.  She tried making a few more calls, but nothing was getting through. To keep from panicking, she counted her steps as she went. At around two hundred, she lost count and bumped into Sean, when they all stopped. Peering around his shoulders, she saw that Robin and Gil were standing at a fork. The dirt path they had been taking suddenly split, running in two directions.

            “I don’t remember this,” said Gil.

            “I think I do,” said Robin.

            “Which one should we take?” said Sean, shining his flashlight onto his own wolfish features. “Do you still have that map, Riley?”

 “The map!” she cried and searched her pockets for the crumpled paper. She came up empty handed. “It must have fallen out…”

            Robin’s shoulders sagged. “I think I remember that we passed this earlier today, on our way to the Lake. It was on our right. So… does that mean we should go left?”

            “Yeesss,” said Sean uncertainly and slowly. He looked at Gil.  “Or do we go left again?”

            “I don’t remember, so I guess I have to take your word for it,” said Gil tiredly, adjusting the straps on his backpack. He led them on again, with his head down, searching the ground for any foot-prints or signs. After several minutes, Sean dropped behind to walk at Riley’s side.

            “You ok?” he asked quietly.

            “Yeah,” she said. “Why?”

            “I wasn’t sure if you were upset about the wine or anything. Didn’t want you to beat me up.” He smirked, but his eyes were kinder than usual.

            This merited a small laugh from her. “I wouldn’t beat you up. She would,” Riley said with a knowing nod.

            Sean tilted his head back and laughed. “I know.”

“However,” Riley said after a moment, “I swear, if you do anything to hurt her…”  

            His palms were up in a display of surrender before she even finished her threat. “I give my vow on what little honor I have, that I will be good.”

            “The way you define ‘good’ and the way I define it are two totally different things,” Riley said, winking. “But just so long as you accept the terms of violence that will find you, then I think my work is done.”

            “When you’re finished auctioning me off,” Robin called, “try to catch up.”

            Riley and Sean shared a look, grinning, and lengthened their strides. They did not have to work hard to find Robin and Gil though, because the two had stopped again.

            “What is it?” Sean asked.

            “Shhh,” said Gil, holding up a finger.

            “Did you hear something? Are we getting close?” Sean badgered. Before the question was hardly finished, Gil had thrown him a glare, and Robin clapped her hand over his mouth.

            “Listen,” Gil whispered.

            Riley listened hard, but could hear nothing. They stood in silence, only their breathing punctuating the darkness.

            “It’s coming from this direction,” Gil said after a long moment, and swiveled his flashlight off into the brush. It revealed nothing – just more rows of dim trees and underbrush. They followed him, as quietly as they could, struggling to keep their sneakers from scuffing over stones, or rustling the leaves that lay across the path.

            After several long moments of nothing but their own loud sounds, Riley finally heard it. Whispers of many people. And soft music.

            Robin’s eyes widened. “Our camp!” she nearly shouted, and bolted forward. Sean caught hold of her arm, and went with her, Riley and Gil close behind. They followed the noise as best as they could, eyes searching for any glimmer of light or sign of their tent. Suddenly the music dropped away and before they could stop, their sneakers splashed into water.

            Robin shrieked in surprise as the cold stream eddied around their feet.

            “It’s the river…again,” Gill said in shock. As they quickly climbed out of water, he shined his flashlight up onto the bank where they were picnic-ing only a few hours previously, shaking his head. They stood, staring at the spot in disbelief.

            “I could have sworn I heard voices,” Robin whispered, arms wrapped around herself.

            “Me too,” said Gil quietly.

            “Sooooo,” Sean began, stretching his arms out, and letting his pack slowly slide off his shoulders and onto the ground. “I believe I have some wine left.”

            “We are not camping here, Sean,” Riley muttered.

            “Actually,” Gil sighed, “at the rate we’re going, we may have to.”

            “Seriously?” Robin huffed. “Our camp is close. We’ll find it if we just keep searching.”

            Riley tried once more to make a call, feeling a panic rise in her chest. “I can’t get through,” she murmured. “There’s no signal.”

            “We will give it one more try,” said Gil. “What a disaster.”

            “Tell it like it is,” Sean groaned. “I will never go on a field trip again, for as long as I live.”...

to be continued.